The Best Funny Jokes

Learning from your mistakes is a good thing, but learning from the mistakes of others is better.
March 22, 2019
That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.
March 22, 2019
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: They live in schools.
March 22, 2019
Dreams do come true if you believe but you have to make your move.
March 22, 2019
The best feeling in the world? Waking up in the middle of the night knowing you have a couple more hours to sleep.
March 22, 2019
It might be hard to say I love you. It's much easier to write it. It's even easier to copy and paste it.
March 22, 2019
A girl came up to me and said she recognised me from a vegetarian restaurant.
I was a bit confused because I’ve never met herbivore.
March 22, 2019
Dear sarcasm, Thank you for being there when I want to be honest and nice.
March 21, 2019
You can't spell A-W-E-S-O-M-E without ME.
March 21, 2019
Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts group.
I see a lot of new faces here today.
March 21, 2019
+1
What word has five letters but becomes shorter when you add two more?
Short.
March 21, 2019
What do you give a cannibal if he turns up late for your dinner party?
The cold shoulder.
March 21, 2019
+2
A girl cane up to me and said she recognised me from a vegetarian restaurant.
I was a bit confused because I’ve never met herbivore.
March 21, 2019
Who was the first president of the laundry room?
George Washing-Done.
March 21, 2019
I used to run a dating agency for chickens.
But I was struggling to make hens meet.
March 21, 2019
My mum wasn’t happy with my school report.
I said: “Okay.”
She said: “I want more AAs”.
I replied: “OKAAAAAAAAAY.”
March 21, 2019
Some people can't believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first.
March 20, 2019
+1
My wife said “it’s over” and just walked out on me!
But I just sat there.
I always like watching the credits to the end.
March 19, 2019
+1
There was a catastrophic cyber attack recently: the govt is still looking for the hacker.
I think he ran some ware.
March 19, 2019
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her dog closes its eyes when it humps her leg.
March 19, 2019
+1
What does a Japanese tourist think when he sees a big Barney floating down Sixth Avenue? It's gotta be unsettling for the poor guy.
March 19, 2019
+1
Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office?
A: It was feeling crummy.
March 19, 2019
+1
I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.
March 19, 2019
+3
How does the Pope pay for things on eBay?
He uses his Papal account.
March 19, 2019
+2
What do you call a man with a flatfish on his head?
Ray.
March 19, 2019
+2
My ex wife cheated on me with her deaf best friend.
Honestly, I should have seen the signs.
March 19, 2019
+2
I tripped over my wife’s bra.
It was a booby trap.
March 19, 2019
+1
Why should you never iron a shamrock?
Because you shouldn’t press your luck.
March 19, 2019
+1
My dad told me to stop pretending to be a farm animal.
He was sick of me horsing around.
March 19, 2019
+1
What do you call a nervous witch?
A twitch.
March 18, 2019
+1


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