The Best Funny Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?
A: Because the sun was out.
June 04, 2020
Life is full of friends and lovers.
You just need to find them.
June 04, 2020
+2
My wife just threw away my favourite herb.
She’s such a thyme waster.
June 04, 2020
+1
What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year?
A trophy.
June 04, 2020
+1
A coworker named Celsius recently retired at my work, so they hired a guy named Kelvin to replace him.
He’s the new temp.
June 03, 2020
How do you get rich in Ancient Greece? Well, step one, become an oracle. Step two:
Prophet.
June 03, 2020
+1
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
That’s just spam.
June 02, 2020
I went to the local Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting last night.
But all the seats were taken.
June 02, 2020
+1
If you got bladder problems...
Urine trouble.
June 02, 2020
+1
The LEGO shop reopens tomorrow but I recommend avoiding it for the time being,
People will be lined up for blocks.
June 02, 2020
That strange moment when the radio host talks over a good song.
June 01, 2020
I’m reading a horror book in Braille.
Something bad is going to happen.
I can feel it.
June 01, 2020
Q: Why does a chicken coop only have two doors?
A: If it had four, it would be a sedan.
June 01, 2020
+1
How much do dumplings weigh?
Wonton.
May 30, 2020
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make a bunch of Dracula action figures.
I make every second Count.
May 30, 2020
I asked Dad how he plans to spend the day. He said, "first, Mom and I will go pick up our prescription glasses"
And then we’ll see.
May 30, 2020
+2
Two books meet in a Library. One says ' You don't look too well ' and the other replies..
Just had my Appendix removed.
May 30, 2020
+1
The word “diputseromneve” may look ridiculous...
But backwards it’s even more stupid.
May 30, 2020
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday.
Luckily it was a soft drink.
May 29, 2020
+1
I’ve been saying “mucho” to my Spanish friend a lot more often lately.
It means a lot to him.
May 27, 2020
+1
I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
Feefiphobia.
May 27, 2020
Have you ever seen a picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved?
It’s been unpresidented.
May 25, 2020
Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money?
It suffered from withdrawals.
May 25, 2020
My neighbour and I became good friends, so we decided to rent a space together to park our cars.
We have....a lot in common.
May 25, 2020
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants.
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore.
May 25, 2020
Will glass coffins be a success?
Remains to be seen.
May 25, 2020
+1
Why did the wife divorce the baker?
Because he was too kneady.
May 25, 2020
What do you call a psychic dwarf that escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
May 25, 2020
What do you call a sad fish?
A frownder.
May 25, 2020
Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Yes, we arson.
May 25, 2020


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