The Best Funny Jokes

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the oven till its Bill Withers.
A tribute to the great Bill Withers RIP.
April 03, 2020
My IT guy just asked, "How does a computer get drunk?"
It takes screen shots.
April 03, 2020
What is muffins spelled backwards?
Exactly what you do when you take them out the oven.
April 03, 2020
I don’t have a “dad bod”...
I have a father figure.
April 02, 2020
What do you call a belt made out of hundred dollar bills?
A waist of money.
April 01, 2020
Dad: "Would you like anything to eat for dinner?"
Son: "What are my choices?"
Dad: “Yes” or “no”.
April 01, 2020
I've spent the past week learning escapology...
I need to get out more...
April 01, 2020
I've been blocked by Gary Barlow.
Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it...
April 01, 2020
What do you call a dinosaur that uses cheap toilet paper?
Megasoreass.
March 31, 2020
Can February March?
No, but April May.
March 31, 2020
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
10-tickles
March 30, 2020
All of my friends have such expansive bucket lists.
But mine is a little pail into comparison.
March 30, 2020
My son Luke loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.
My daughter Chewbacca not so much.
March 30, 2020
3 biggest lies
1. I love you
2. I miss you
3. That was the last toilet paper roll
March 28, 2020
weekend: party time
few days later: quarantine
March 28, 2020
Don't fall in love. It's bad.
March 28, 2020
Did you hear about the Yacht builder that had to work from home?
His sails went through the roof.
March 28, 2020
Post Malone has canceled his tour.
Does this now make him postpone Malone?
March 28, 2020
How do you make a Swiss roll?
Just push them down the slope.
March 28, 2020
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
March 28, 2020
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?
Everybody.
March 28, 2020
Still home.
I'm thinking about a journey to the kitchen.
fridge tour
March 27, 2020
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?
Annoying.
March 27, 2020
+1
Did you know I like dad jokes about eyes?
The cornea the better.
March 27, 2020
Im so bored sitting at home that I decided to memorize six pages of the dictionary.
I learned next to nothing.
March 27, 2020
I said to my wife "When I die," I'd like to die having sex"
She replied: “At least it’ll be quick.”
March 27, 2020
My wife said to me: "If you won the lottery, would you still love me?"
I said: “Of course I would. I’d miss you, but I’d still love you.”
March 27, 2020
My wife blocked me on Facebook because I post too many bird puns.
Well, toucan play at that game.
March 26, 2020
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
March 26, 2020
What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past.
March 25, 2020


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