The Best Funny Jokes

My wife and I had an argument about which vowel is the most useful.
I won.
March 12, 2019
How do you make a Swiss roll?
You push him over.
March 12, 2019
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A neighbour.
March 12, 2019
I left my wife because she was obsessed with counting.
I wonder what she
March 12, 2019
Where did Noah keep his bees?
In his Ark hives.
March 12, 2019
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery...
I
March 12, 2019
What do computers and air conditioners have in common.
They both become useless once you open windows.
March 12, 2019
My wife caught me cross dressing and said it
March 12, 2019
What do you call a funny mosquito?
Malarious!
March 12, 2019
My boss wouldn
March 12, 2019
What
March 12, 2019
What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a Cod, any Cod.
March 12, 2019
I told my boss I was tired of being a human cannonball.
So he fired me!
March 12, 2019
What do you call a
March 12, 2019
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer yesterday.
I don
March 12, 2019
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.
She denies it but I
March 12, 2019
Milk is the fastest liquid in the world.
It
March 12, 2019
What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
UCLA.
March 12, 2019
Why is a Panda the most dangerous animal in the animal kingdom?
Because it eats shoots and leaves.
March 12, 2019
What did the doctor say to the man covered in cling film?
March 12, 2019
I was diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
FeeFiphobia.
March 12, 2019
My wife text messaged me with one word:
March 12, 2019
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse?
March 12, 2019
I blame Mother Earth for all earthquakes.
It
March 12, 2019
There are straight laws...
..and there are bylaws.
March 12, 2019
What do you call a murderer who only poisons your breakfast?
A cereal killer.
March 12, 2019
While most puns make me feel numb.
Maths puns make me feel number.
March 12, 2019
Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?
The hip consultant.
March 12, 2019
Yesterday my brother accidentally swallowed some weed killer.
Fortunately he saw the fungicide.
March 12, 2019
What
March 12, 2019


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