The Best Funny Jokes

What is a web developer's favourite tea?
URL Grey.
October 04, 2019
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling?
One is a whiny toddler and the other is a tiny waddler.
October 04, 2019
What did the mermaid wear to her math class?
An algae bra.
October 03, 2019
I lost 20% of my couch.
Ouch.
October 03, 2019
What do you call a wolf that has things figured out?
Aware wolf.
October 03, 2019
[me] what's your fav song?
[some dude] Baby Shark
October 03, 2019
+1
Strange things happen on the roof
the spiders
rats, bats and the cats
October 03, 2019
My wife told me to stop behaving like a flamingo.
That’s when I had to put my foot down.
October 02, 2019
I got a female dog and named her Karma.
October 02, 2019
You’ve really gotta hand it to short people...
Because they usually can’t reach it anyway.
October 02, 2019
Greggs is stockpiling sausage meat in case of a no deal brexit.
We should prepare ourselves for the wurst.
October 02, 2019
Being a scarecrow isn't for everyone.
But hay... it’s in my jeans.
October 02, 2019
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night.
Oof.
October 02, 2019
What do you call an overused tyre?

Tyred.
October 02, 2019
I got an email from Google that said "At Google Earth, we can even read maps backwards". And so I thought...
That’s just spam.
October 02, 2019
My wife didn’t believe me when I said that I would give our daughter a silly name.
So I decided to call her Bluff.
October 02, 2019
Every morning at breakfast, I tell my family that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of the year.
October 02, 2019
It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub.
It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
October 02, 2019
What was Icarus’ least favorite food?
Hot wings.
October 02, 2019
Sometimes the best ideas come right before falling asleep.
October 01, 2019
Music always puts me in a better mood.
October 01, 2019
As a dentist, I only get paid for each prosthetic implant I complete...
Nothing dentured, nothing gained.
October 01, 2019
The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
September 30, 2019
I heard on the news that some guy was stealing wheels off police cars.
The police are working tirelessly to catch him.
September 30, 2019
My wife got into body building about 13 weeks ago.
We find out if it’s a boy or girl in a few weeks.
September 30, 2019
Sundays are always a little sad, but...
The day before is a sadder day.
September 30, 2019
I have a huge hemmorhoid, I was wondering if I should go to the doctor but...
I decided to sit on it for a while.
September 30, 2019
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
September 30, 2019
2012 - People dance to Gangam Style
2017 - Despacito
2019 - Baby Shark
September 30, 2019
Is it possible to party on Monday?
September 30, 2019


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