The Best Funny Jokes

I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer yesterday.
I don
March 12, 2019
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.
She denies it but I
March 12, 2019
Milk is the fastest liquid in the world.
It
March 12, 2019
What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
UCLA.
March 12, 2019
Why is a Panda the most dangerous animal in the animal kingdom?
Because it eats shoots and leaves.
March 12, 2019
What did the doctor say to the man covered in cling film?
March 12, 2019
I was diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.
FeeFiphobia.
March 12, 2019
My wife text messaged me with one word:
March 12, 2019
Did you hear about the dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse?
March 12, 2019
I blame Mother Earth for all earthquakes.
It
March 12, 2019
There are straight laws...
..and there are bylaws.
March 12, 2019
What do you call a murderer who only poisons your breakfast?
A cereal killer.
March 12, 2019
While most puns make me feel numb.
Maths puns make me feel number.
March 12, 2019
Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?
The hip consultant.
March 12, 2019
Yesterday my brother accidentally swallowed some weed killer.
Fortunately he saw the fungicide.
March 12, 2019
What
March 12, 2019
Good friends give you food.
Best friends take your food.
March 12, 2019
I love sleeping so much that it is the first thing I think about when I wake up.
March 12, 2019
Teacher: You failed your exam.
Student: You failed to teach me.
March 12, 2019
Old enough to know better.
Young enough to do it anyway.
March 12, 2019
[F]irst [A]ttempt [I]n [L]earning
March 12, 2019
Study.... stu.... st.... s.... sl.... slee.... sleeping
March 12, 2019
I don't really need a fridge full of food. I need my mind to be full of ideas.
March 12, 2019
sarcasm for the win
March 12, 2019
I wonder what is worse no love or fake love.
March 12, 2019
Dear sarcasm,
Thank you for being there when I want to be honest and nice.
March 12, 2019
Dreams do come true if you believe
but
you have to make your move,
March 12, 2019
That awkward moment when someone calls you sweetie.
March 12, 2019
Sometimes you see someone making these awesome videos. People think it's their hobby and love, without realizing it's all about money.
March 12, 2019
It might be hard to say I love you.
It's much easier to write it.
It's even easier to copy and paste it.
March 12, 2019


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