The Best Funny Jokes

My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night.
But I will recover.
March 17, 2019
What do you call a mouse that swears?
A cursor.
March 17, 2019
What did Tennessee?
The same thing that Arkansas
March 17, 2019
I was having trouble fastening my seatbelt...
....and then it just clicked.
March 17, 2019
I’m creating an app to find qualified electricians in your area.
It’s called wattsapp.
March 17, 2019
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick.
Especially when his name is Steve.
March 17, 2019
Some people have trouble sleeping...
But I can do it with my eyes closed.
March 17, 2019
Every year St Patrick’s day keeps on getting bigger.
I think it might even keep on Dublin.
March 17, 2019
That awkward moment when your kindness is mistaken with flirting.
March 17, 2019
My house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it.
March 17, 2019
Sometimes the wallet is like the fridge. You open it, and it's empty.
March 17, 2019
It's incredible how many people make fun of themselves on YouTube without knowing it.
March 17, 2019
Imagine reading a book of all the rumors your friends ever told about you.
March 17, 2019
Imagine if it was possible to find out everyone who secretly had a crush on you.
March 17, 2019
In boring classes, I always improve my drawing skills.
March 17, 2019
Dear teacher:
If the bell doesn't dismiss me, then the bell doesn't decide, when I should be in class.
March 17, 2019
[teacher] Is that a phone!?
[student] No. It's my calculator.
March 17, 2019
That strange moment when you're telling a story, and people think it's a joke and laugh.
March 17, 2019
There's always that one kid in gym class, who thinks it is the Olympics.
March 17, 2019
I have so many things to do for the night
and it's not Fortnite.
March 17, 2019
It's better to be kissed by a fool than to be fooled by a kiss.
March 17, 2019
Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.
March 17, 2019
Seeing a spider isn't a problem. It becomes a problem when the spider is gone.
March 17, 2019
I wonder if 50 words is enough to make 100 different songs.
March 17, 2019
I'm in love with my bed, but my alarm clock won't let us be together.
March 17, 2019
I like school.
I just don't enjoy the learning part.
March 17, 2019
Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.
March 17, 2019
I'm so bored of being bored because being bored is really boring.
March 17, 2019
That annoying moment when you are walking around the house, with socks on, and step on a random wet spot.
March 12, 2019
Everyone says to follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.