The Best Funny Jokes

The guy who stole my diary just died.
My thoughts are with his family.
March 12, 2019
This morning I tried to catch some fog.
Mist.
March 12, 2019
What do you call a dentist
March 12, 2019
I would like to be a millionaire just like my dad.
He always wanted to be a millionaire too.
March 12, 2019
+1
Last week a German shepherd defecated in front of me on my lawn!
And yesterday he brought his dog along.
March 12, 2019
A warning to the person who stole my glasses.
I have contacts!
March 12, 2019
I told my wife she
March 12, 2019
Time flies like an arrow...
Fruit flies like a banana.
March 12, 2019
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian.
Well, they're not laughing now.
March 12, 2019
I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets...
Then it hit me.
March 12, 2019
My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathes nude in her garden.
Personally, I
March 12, 2019
I used to hate facial hair.
But then it grew on me.
March 12, 2019
What
March 12, 2019
What do you call 52 pieces of bread?
A deck of carbs.,
March 12, 2019
Why are ancient history lecturers boring?
They tend to Babylon.
March 12, 2019
I wonder how many people can tell a difference between smiling at someone and the moment when someone is trying to stop laughing.
March 12, 2019
I used to be such a good guy but the life changed me.
March 12, 2019
If you want dreams to happen go to bed.
March 12, 2019
Sometimes waiting for the weekend is better than the weekend itself.
March 12, 2019
Sometimes there is nothing left to say.
March 12, 2019
I wanted to be sarcastic then I realized that I don't really care.
March 12, 2019
Imagine if spiders could fly.
March 12, 2019
My alarm clock is set to wake me up in the middle of the night so I can turn it off and sleep more.
March 12, 2019
That one friend that always eats something.
March 12, 2019
I don't like it when I wake up in the afternoon and someone says that I sleep too much.
March 12, 2019
Year 2018. There's a 50" TV and they prefer to use a phone to watch movies.
March 12, 2019
Strange people who don't have time for old friends but still search for new ones.
March 12, 2019
Every time dreams come true the alarm clock turns on.
March 12, 2019
Sometimes the phone battery lasts longer than the relationship.
March 12, 2019
Imagine if I could get paid for sleeping and dreams were replaced with ads.
March 12, 2019


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