The Best Funny Jokes

Why was the broom late for the meeting?
It overswept.
April 29, 2020
I'm allergic to bread but eat it anyway.
I’m a gluten for punishment.
April 28, 2020
I noticed when I was driving around that they changed the name of the Interborough Parkway to the Jackie Robinson Parkway. And the Interborough family is very upset about this....
April 28, 2020
What do you call a crocodile that is a detective?
An investi-gator.
April 28, 2020
I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet -- this is exciting -- I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.
April 28, 2020
My girlfriend wants me to choose between her and my career as a reporter.
I have some breaking news for her.
April 27, 2020
What lies on its back 100 ft in the air?
A centipede.
April 27, 2020
My friend Barry drew me. But I‘m not insulted because..
I Drew Barrymore.
April 27, 2020
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.
It was an Apple with a limited memory. Just one byte and then everything crashed.
April 25, 2020
+2
Our friend Chuck hasn’t contacted us for months, so we renamed him Huck.
Because long time no C.
April 25, 2020
+1
I do really feel bad for the Class of 2020. People say your senior year flies.
I just didn’t realise it would Zoom.
April 25, 2020
My wife wanted to brighten up the garden.
So I planted some bulbs.
April 25, 2020
I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help.
But I stand corrected.
April 24, 2020
When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing.
But it’s what’s inside that counts.
April 23, 2020
What kind of Dr was Dr.Pepper.
A fizzcision.
April 23, 2020
Every once in a while, I'll be walking around, going, 'Look at me! My clothes are kind of baggy. Maybe I am losing weight.' Turns out -- just laundry time. Maybe I shouldn't wear the same jeans six days in a row.
April 23, 2020
What did Kim Jong-Un say yesterday before he died?
My Korea is over.
April 22, 2020
My next door neighbor and I are good friends, so we decided to share our water supply.
We got a long well.
April 21, 2020
I warned my daughter about using her whistle inside the house today and gave her one last chance...
Unfortunately, she blew it.
April 21, 2020
I just heard that Kim Jong-Un is sick.
I guess that makes him Kim Jong-Ill.
April 21, 2020
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
Teapot.
April 21, 2020
What are scientists favorite dog breed?
Labs.
April 21, 2020
+1
Ever wondered what to say to your sister when she’s crying ?
“Are you having a crisis?”
April 20, 2020
I’m trying to learn the alphabet but I can’t get past X.
I don’t know why.
April 19, 2020
My nickname at work is Mr. Compromise.
It wasn’t my first choice but I’m ok with it.
April 19, 2020
+1
You know, I was looking at our ceiling the other day. It’s not the best...
But it’s up there.
April 19, 2020
I have OCD so whenever someone says "tho"
I always respond with “ugh”.
April 19, 2020
We all know where the Big Apple is but does anyone know where the…
Minneapolis.
April 18, 2020
British people be like: I'm bri ish.
I guess they drank the t.
April 17, 2020
A man walks into a bar.
Lucky bastard.
April 17, 2020


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